A self portrait - an artist's challenge

"There's a lot of sinking feelings in art" - Joe Miller

 

I set out this week to get out of my comfort zone and do something I don't typically. I'm a student of Architecture and I gravitate toward buildings, urban scenes, architectural details, etc. But definitely not towards people. Some may critique my artwork for the absence of life. I'm just scared of doing people. Especially when they're supposed to look like someone.

So, this week, I stepped out of my comfort zone to draw a person. Myself. I felt "me" would be a better subject because I wouldn't have anyone see me and say, "You think I look like that?!?" (I'm looking in the direction of my wife). I'd done some drawings of past girlfriends earlier in my artistic career who's reactions instill fear even today.

(The initial line drawing) Who in the world is that...?

But when I began, I thought, there's no way this will ever look like me. It was terrible. 

(Adding more shadows to the portrait to create depth) Do I really look like Lurch?

But, I kept at it. Then I'd get kinda happy with something, but it wasn't right -- cue the sinking feeling. So, I'd erase hoping that I could at least do that well again because if I did worse... then I'd never get what I had back. Another sinking feeling.

(Pushing more shadows. More developed nose and eyes) Hey! I kinda recognize that guy! (I can draw!)

Oh, but, the eyes are still off. And, the forehead...

(Darkening the shadows. More layering) The forehead is better. Oh jeez, I've messed it up. The darks are too dark...
I'm back..! Right? Or am I?

 

In a lot of ways, art is about perseverance. I'm convinced of that. Erasing something for the 4th or 5th time hasn't worn me down. Or the paper. The drawing is getting better. I recognize "Me". There's still some work to be done and in portraits, maybe it's a game of millimeters. But how I've enjoyed the test of my artistic endurance. Maybe I can make something out of myself yet...

 

Maybe...

 

There's miles to go. More to come...

 

 

 

-Brian